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Friday 14 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41151) - you deserved it (4598)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62151) - you deserved it (4163)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad came home from a trip to Arizona and brought back special hand-picked gifts for the whole family. When he got to me, he smiled, and pulled out a free lotion from the hotel at which he was staying. FML

#20729197
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41888) - you deserved it (3401)

On 06/16/2013 at 11:46am - misc - by loveyadad (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

#20736654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40680) - you deserved it (2841)

On 06/20/2013 at 2:32am - work - by Whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

#20717345
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48828) - you deserved it (5509)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:55am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58449) - you deserved it (2882)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40398) - you deserved it (6450)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)

Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML

#20736581
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38478) - you deserved it (7715)

On 06/20/2013 at 1:49am - misc - by ohmygod (man) - United States

Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

Today, my mother and grandmother informed me that my sixteen-year-old dog died. I was standing in Wal-Mart at the time. They then yelled at me because crying in public is "inappropriate." FML

#20716871
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49886) - you deserved it (3681)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, while working the register, a known mentally-unstable man approached me. He ended up telling me that the Statue of Liberty is sexist and a screw-up by Washington. When I told him that the French made it, he told me to shut up and complained to my manager. He knows me by name now. FML

#20724940
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37359) - you deserved it (4538)

On 06/14/2013 at 1:57am - work - by fubuggie (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40385) - you deserved it (2398)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML

#20737568
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46247) - you deserved it (3556)

On 06/20/2013 at 5:13pm - misc - by clop clop clopping all the way (man) - United States



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