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Friday 14 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

#20720827
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43339) - you deserved it (13026)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:59am - money - by why mom, why? - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

#20726995
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46542) - you deserved it (4600)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:57am - love - by bloody - United States

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

#20721539
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52514) - you deserved it (4084)

On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

#20733745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52935) - you deserved it (8711)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63937) - you deserved it (3434)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47836) - you deserved it (10753)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49457) - you deserved it (4951)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I donated blood for the first time. I'm completely healthy and after waiting the appropriate amount of time I left, feeling fine. That is until I went out to eat with my family an hour later and passed out in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#20724782
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35294) - you deserved it (3688)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:39am - health - by hi_there4397 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55716) - you deserved it (4110)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

#20730822
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48819) - you deserved it (10176)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57253) - you deserved it (4090)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

#20738647
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46017) - you deserved it (4414)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58256) - you deserved it (9153)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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