Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 14 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78385) - you deserved it (7165)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

#20718168
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76621) - you deserved it (3869)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by Upset (woman) - United States

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49353) - you deserved it (5009)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50799) - you deserved it (10747)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60876) - you deserved it (4338)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

#20735044
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54362) - you deserved it (3433)

On 06/19/2013 at 11:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

#20726995
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49419) - you deserved it (4860)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:57am - love - by bloody - United States

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

#20730804
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38026) - you deserved it (5210)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Idontbelieveinmagic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

#20724353
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42184) - you deserved it (26458)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60427) - you deserved it (4353)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

#20736762
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51624) - you deserved it (3378)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:35am - money - by what_the_hell (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67507) - you deserved it (3689)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50577) - you deserved it (11435)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: