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Friday 14 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML

#20724193
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46659) - you deserved it (6498)

On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for showing up at work early. His reasoning is that it looks bad when his workers show up before dawn and work later than he does. He assigned me these hours specifically to accommodate one of our clients. FML

#20725768
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44809) - you deserved it (3047)

On 06/14/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by wtfwhyfml (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

#20726715
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42944) - you deserved it (4715)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by ouch - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML

#20734756
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48555) - you deserved it (4030)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML

#20730236
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42194) - you deserved it (11976)

On 06/16/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by jhughes1997 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43595) - you deserved it (4045)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML

#20718430
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45162) - you deserved it (4368)

On 06/10/2013 at 10:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I honked at a man in a Subway parking lot. He rolled down his window and screamed insults and slurs at me before driving away. Why did I honk at him? He'd left his lunch on top of his car. FML

#20737996
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43494) - you deserved it (3878)

On 06/20/2013 at 10:17pm - misc - by just trying to be nice (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML

#20718832
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44755) - you deserved it (5478)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:39am - kids - by sydneyp3435 - United States (Texas)

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML

#20738117
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40930) - you deserved it (7005)

On 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm - health - by Ouch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML

#20720351
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45190) - you deserved it (2920)

On 06/11/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Elephant1718 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML

#20729234
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44847) - you deserved it (3256)

On 06/16/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I returned home from a two-year trip overseas. My mom's first words as she greeted me at the arrivals terminal of the airport were, "Your father and I are getting a divorce." FML

#20738269
52 comments


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