Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 14 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44058) - you deserved it (2656)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

#20732528
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39202) - you deserved it (5665)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by ProAwkward - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44914) - you deserved it (21261)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46524) - you deserved it (13421)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am feeling freezing cold and soaking wet. It turns out that my dad had opened my window when I was sleeping, and rain water had been pouring in on me all night. My hair, face, pillow, blankets, alarm clock, and homework were all soaked as well. FML

#20722563
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49794) - you deserved it (3489)

On 06/12/2013 at 10:40pm - misc - by Anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just looked him dead in the eyes and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML

#20723714
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48745) - you deserved it (3702)

On 06/13/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

#20726687
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66429) - you deserved it (4097)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad came home from a trip to Arizona and brought back special hand-picked gifts for the whole family. When he got to me, he smiled, and pulled out a free lotion from the hotel at which he was staying. FML

#20729197
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45307) - you deserved it (3681)

On 06/16/2013 at 11:46am - misc - by loveyadad (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

#20738899
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49052) - you deserved it (3524)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by lehonj49 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

#20726806
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50243) - you deserved it (6333)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:41am - work - by Shitty Boss Shitty Job - United States (Iowa)

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

#20737057
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42299) - you deserved it (2821)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by whoriblemomindeed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

#20718656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61777) - you deserved it (17027)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML

#20737568
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49430) - you deserved it (3810)

On 06/20/2013 at 5:13pm - misc - by clop clop clopping all the way (man) - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: