Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 14 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

#20726743
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47940) - you deserved it (4335)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by well then... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I left for a one and a half month trip to Japan with my boyfriend. He promptly broke up with me the first night in the hotel. When asked why he couldn't have waited until the trip was over, he said he didn't want to create "false memories". FML

#20729993
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44343) - you deserved it (3153)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by VacationRuined (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML

#20722079
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45540) - you deserved it (7042)

On 06/12/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by mysea8679 (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

#20736145
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52660) - you deserved it (3399)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML

#20731128
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (5158)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:46am - misc - by newyorkers - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

Today, my sister sent me countless pictures of my boyfriend making out with different girls at a bar. His excuse? Photoshop. FML

#20726929
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50768) - you deserved it (4064)

On 06/15/2013 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I told my friend, who's a marriage counsellor, about some of the things my husband does that I hate, like snoring loudly and eating with his mouth open. I wasn't asking for advice, but she just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Divorce." Bye-bye, faith in humanity. FML

#20727839
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35943) - you deserved it (5147)

On 06/15/2013 at 5:08pm - misc - by ineedbetterfriends (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

#20729997
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51085) - you deserved it (4722)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

#20731175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42623) - you deserved it (13927)

On 06/17/2013 at 9:55am - health - by nomwar (woman) - United States

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

#20717602
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48250) - you deserved it (4143)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by sadgirl - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

#20716829
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48132) - you deserved it (4898)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65359) - you deserved it (4432)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: