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Friday 14 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62963) - you deserved it (9737)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML

#20728644
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55559) - you deserved it (11285)

On 06/16/2013 at 1:10am - intimacy - by sex deprived (woman) - United States

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61420) - you deserved it (8533)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

#20719870
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47284) - you deserved it (2622)

On 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by stutterboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52879) - you deserved it (6790)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, a woman demanded a refund for a video game. She had no receipt, so due to company policy, I couldn't refund her. She reacted by loudly accusing me of being racist, then yelled that she'd see me in court as she finally stormed out. FML

#20737368
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46256) - you deserved it (2998)

On 06/20/2013 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57128) - you deserved it (6882)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

#20729997
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52711) - you deserved it (4853)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML

#20729746
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52606) - you deserved it (6035)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by ... (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

#20733830
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59699) - you deserved it (5651)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML

#20719679
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46237) - you deserved it (5497)

On 06/11/2013 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

#20738351
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48532) - you deserved it (8786)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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