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Friday 14 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47674) - you deserved it (19453)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I was bombarded with phone calls from debt collectors. After some investigation, it turns out my grandma, who has dementia, has been going into our mailbox and throwing away the outgoing mail because it wasn't addressed to her. I'm now apparently 3 months behind in payments. FML

#20720825
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47689) - you deserved it (8063)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:57am - money - by redvolvo23 - United States

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52138) - you deserved it (5209)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I donated blood for the first time. I'm completely healthy and after waiting the appropriate amount of time I left, feeling fine. That is until I went out to eat with my family an hour later and passed out in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#20724782
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35560) - you deserved it (3698)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:39am - health - by hi_there4397 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58037) - you deserved it (4322)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60427) - you deserved it (4353)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

#20730822
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49180) - you deserved it (10231)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61458) - you deserved it (4261)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57748) - you deserved it (5623)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

#20721539
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53636) - you deserved it (4144)

On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61961) - you deserved it (9626)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

#20720827
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46081) - you deserved it (13725)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:59am - money - by why mom, why? - United States (California)

Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML

#20728644
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53614) - you deserved it (10874)

On 06/16/2013 at 1:10am - intimacy - by sex deprived (woman) - United States



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