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Friday 14 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68850) - you deserved it (3949)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72892) - you deserved it (7213)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

#20720590
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34737) - you deserved it (71508)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML

#20721311
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58057) - you deserved it (5681)

On 06/12/2013 at 10:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

#20726687
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62009) - you deserved it (3789)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

#20729679
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43799) - you deserved it (3877)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by not a brain cell in sight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML

#20727924
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50693) - you deserved it (4626)

On 06/15/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

#20718644
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31316) - you deserved it (47710)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68764) - you deserved it (6548)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

#20723014
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56215) - you deserved it (3153)

On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML

#20734761
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38536) - you deserved it (5267)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by RoyallyGrossedOut (woman) - United States



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