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Friday 7 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62529) - you deserved it (4346)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

#20721539
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56218) - you deserved it (4335)

On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54776) - you deserved it (5016)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

#20715817
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49601) - you deserved it (4769)

On 06/09/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by kalisa anteater (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

#20719870
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47457) - you deserved it (2631)

On 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by stutterboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57209) - you deserved it (4338)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57139) - you deserved it (6883)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is bringing his friends on our trip. I'm now the third wheel on the romantic trip we've planned for a year. FML

#20705634
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55534) - you deserved it (4741)

On 06/04/2013 at 3:11pm - love - by TheThirdWheel - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML

#20712866
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51265) - you deserved it (16410)

On 06/08/2013 at 12:42am - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML

#20719679
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46240) - you deserved it (5497)

On 06/11/2013 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

#20705783
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48032) - you deserved it (4481)

On 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by no booze, no boyfriend (woman) - United States



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