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Friday 7 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

#20707121
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45008) - you deserved it (12072)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63898) - you deserved it (3434)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47822) - you deserved it (10747)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49313) - you deserved it (4938)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I donated blood for the first time. I'm completely healthy and after waiting the appropriate amount of time I left, feeling fine. That is until I went out to eat with my family an hour later and passed out in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#20724782
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35266) - you deserved it (3686)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:39am - health - by hi_there4397 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML

#20706851
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54838) - you deserved it (3414)

On 06/05/2013 at 1:02am - love - by Justme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50895) - you deserved it (4682)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55435) - you deserved it (5020)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

#20705435
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32372) - you deserved it (47508)

On 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm - health - by poisonivyretard (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

#20709788
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50675) - you deserved it (3463)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54765) - you deserved it (5344)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML

#20702631
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52123) - you deserved it (6694)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by my_only_friend (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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