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Friday 7 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

#20707377
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56097) - you deserved it (13885)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

#20718168
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76621) - you deserved it (3869)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by Upset (woman) - United States

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60874) - you deserved it (4338)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

#20711432
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52914) - you deserved it (5258)

On 06/07/2013 at 9:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20702628
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58197) - you deserved it (17578)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

#20724353
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42182) - you deserved it (26457)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67507) - you deserved it (3689)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50575) - you deserved it (11435)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80738) - you deserved it (3916)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 21-year-old girlfriend finally got the courage to tell her mom that she wanted to move in with me. It turns out she was right to be afraid; during the talk, her mother yelled at us, calling her a slut and saying she was too young to be "shacking up with some guy." FML

#20714116
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42803) - you deserved it (5663)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by MonsterInLaw (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

#20714723
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62316) - you deserved it (12389)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

#20707121
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46091) - you deserved it (12322)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)



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