Choose the period

Friday 7 June 2013

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

by SHIT-BREATH / 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals

Today, I received a prank phone call that woke me up. I actually kept them on the line because they were the first person to call me in weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2013 at 3:11am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML

by samaram / 06/04/2013 at 2:47am / United States / Health

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

by EmployeeOfTheMonth / 06/09/2013 at 7:33pm / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I found out that my family has a bet on how long I will be single for. FML

by Bridget Jones? / 06/10/2013 at 9:09am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML

by congrats grad / 06/08/2013 at 1:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous