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Friday 7 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

#20717566
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34234) - you deserved it (50255)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83367) - you deserved it (7975)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83437) - you deserved it (6885)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67839) - you deserved it (12762)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

#20723435
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60079) - you deserved it (5414)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

#20726036
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61210) - you deserved it (6096)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80396) - you deserved it (11133)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54925) - you deserved it (64042)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37240) - you deserved it (67698)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

#20724048
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50546) - you deserved it (3426)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

#20721457
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57323) - you deserved it (8221)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

#20703566
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58801) - you deserved it (5746)

On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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