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Monday 13 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66549) - you deserved it (5466)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91760) - you deserved it (5471)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45741) - you deserved it (6415)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

#20668963
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55928) - you deserved it (5603)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70320) - you deserved it (3825)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML

#20675748
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46787) - you deserved it (15356)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53431) - you deserved it (3754)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49262) - you deserved it (8663)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML

#20666447
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61407) - you deserved it (3320)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

#20665284
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58501) - you deserved it (3400)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

#20666917
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19166) - you deserved it (34416)

On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

#20661511
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50348) - you deserved it (2767)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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