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Monday 13 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML

#20666438
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48683) - you deserved it (6263)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:31am - money - by astalkerindeed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

#20671163
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53610) - you deserved it (4529)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

#20673625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42564) - you deserved it (5778)

On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43383) - you deserved it (5074)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49427) - you deserved it (2870)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

#20660591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51757) - you deserved it (3029)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42025) - you deserved it (4259)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML

#20662395
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42143) - you deserved it (4088)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by CrappyCar (woman) - United States

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML

#20669324
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45121) - you deserved it (15278)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm - health - by sprainedankle - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals. She asked if she could borrow mine and copy my notes. She then lost my notebook too. FML

#20669510
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45342) - you deserved it (11482)

On 05/17/2013 at 6:28pm - misc - by well great. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

#20661400
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41399) - you deserved it (2912)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44452) - you deserved it (3647)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

#20671146
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41804) - you deserved it (4947)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Guanajuato)



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