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Monday 13 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML

#20674823
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46157) - you deserved it (6054)

On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

#20663152
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45346) - you deserved it (4965)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42523) - you deserved it (3211)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

#20662590
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33389) - you deserved it (24245)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49115) - you deserved it (5158)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50598) - you deserved it (3726)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

#20675286
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51575) - you deserved it (4516)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51994) - you deserved it (4747)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML

#20665722
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50576) - you deserved it (3117)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm - health - by LordCrafte (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50123) - you deserved it (3468)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63676) - you deserved it (6249)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

#20668540
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60903) - you deserved it (5152)

On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45244) - you deserved it (4365)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)



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