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Monday 13 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

#20666917
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21219) - you deserved it (37799)

On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

#20665284
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63632) - you deserved it (4147)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

#20661511
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54535) - you deserved it (3050)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42629) - you deserved it (21174)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML

#20664891
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43676) - you deserved it (9820)

On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42268) - you deserved it (20353)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

#20664518
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52245) - you deserved it (4133)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51638) - you deserved it (13945)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

#20666555
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42848) - you deserved it (5353)

On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51719) - you deserved it (4965)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38538) - you deserved it (6201)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

#20670515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53537) - you deserved it (20541)

On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States



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