Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 9 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML

#20647729
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51322) - you deserved it (5741)

On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54316) - you deserved it (5212)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

#20662885
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47796) - you deserved it (3755)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

#20663640
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41520) - you deserved it (6793)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)

Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML

#20664891
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44999) - you deserved it (9992)

On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML

#20651541
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56006) - you deserved it (4174)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48519) - you deserved it (3336)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46867) - you deserved it (9898)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML

#20647629
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48718) - you deserved it (3907)

On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

#20656177
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44745) - you deserved it (7589)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

#20656847
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45051) - you deserved it (3404)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: