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Thursday 9 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45834) - you deserved it (4950)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (14332)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

#20644845
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61094) - you deserved it (5772)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36843) - you deserved it (6022)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44388) - you deserved it (2379)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML

#20649796
117 comments

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

#20658208
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55937) - you deserved it (8268)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

#20652174
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52727) - you deserved it (3874)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

#20666555
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40783) - you deserved it (5107)

On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49286) - you deserved it (4782)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41943) - you deserved it (9242)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52881) - you deserved it (3594)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)



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