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Monday 6 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

#20645244
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54842) - you deserved it (4369)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

#20647651
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43015) - you deserved it (12700)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm - animals - by hitchcock2013 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

#20647971
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47995) - you deserved it (2871)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:21pm - kids - by bet a woman would've been thanked (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML

#20657778
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47637) - you deserved it (3948)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML

#20661009
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42404) - you deserved it (3024)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47422) - you deserved it (2958)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

#20647398
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49070) - you deserved it (8938)

On 05/07/2013 at 8:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started the bleaching treatments that my dentist recommended. Now, my two front teeth have ultra white spots, the rest of my teeth are still yellow and the roof of my mouth is burned. FML

#20653345
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40698) - you deserved it (8014)

On 05/09/2013 at 11:11pm - health - by ZydecosGirl - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

#20654488
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46551) - you deserved it (4444)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by o___O" (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

#20652046
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48193) - you deserved it (2884)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:44pm - kids - by rachelllynne - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML

#20646861
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59488) - you deserved it (6788)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried for hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. FML

#20654207
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44272) - you deserved it (8160)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

#20661400
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39225) - you deserved it (2716)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)



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