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Monday 6 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51418) - you deserved it (9667)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52753) - you deserved it (3377)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

#20649461
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40995) - you deserved it (14783)

On 05/08/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by Sebastian20 (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50182) - you deserved it (3163)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

#20646330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24294) - you deserved it (48734)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47871) - you deserved it (4311)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

#20651461
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63086) - you deserved it (4050)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

#20656774
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49643) - you deserved it (5763)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

#20659041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18917) - you deserved it (69199)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48728) - you deserved it (5430)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

#20649622
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47865) - you deserved it (10102)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML

#20649842
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42610) - you deserved it (15212)

On 05/08/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by anon_1996 - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

#20654794
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59076) - you deserved it (3389)

On 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm - health - by Chia (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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