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Monday 29 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

#20646330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25642) - you deserved it (51235)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40869) - you deserved it (3888)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20640490
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41708) - you deserved it (15463)

On 05/04/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by Tickettoride (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20254) - you deserved it (46010)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

#20636386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37035) - you deserved it (16973)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

#20639773
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49923) - you deserved it (4513)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to be rushed to the hospital when I started sneezing uncontrollably and got a huge rash. It turns out I'm highly allergic to a chemical in most cleaning supplies. Great. I just got a job as a house cleaner for a very rich family. FML

#20632205
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44818) - you deserved it (2817)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:04am - health - by ava_henryy - United States (Washington)

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38040) - you deserved it (3172)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

#20633099
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44250) - you deserved it (3750)

On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

#20632603
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38848) - you deserved it (13529)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

#20636996
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63966) - you deserved it (7428)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm - love - by Jes_jes18 (woman) - United States

Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML

#20642213
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52150) - you deserved it (7032)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:28am - work - by rent-a-cop (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

#20643291
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54386) - you deserved it (5705)

On 05/05/2013 at 3:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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