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Monday 29 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

#20636525
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29972) - you deserved it (53883)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43159) - you deserved it (8891)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25184) - you deserved it (44947)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

#20636451
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48107) - you deserved it (6538)

On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

#20632227
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42707) - you deserved it (8900)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML

#20639678
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42495) - you deserved it (5749)

On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

#20634162
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45446) - you deserved it (11794)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

#20638629
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60452) - you deserved it (8190)

On 05/03/2013 at 8:13am - intimacy - by Who1s269 (man) - United States

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47953) - you deserved it (11752)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66446) - you deserved it (5408)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML

#20639297
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53928) - you deserved it (5163)

On 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany



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