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Sunday 28 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53829) - you deserved it (4676)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm on holiday in Ghana. After having worn an anklet I bought here for the past two weeks, I was told that it's used by the local prostitutes to advertise their trade. FML

#20637157
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48779) - you deserved it (7514)

On 05/02/2013 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39675) - you deserved it (8647)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that is for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago are inside. After they left, the "for rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML

#20622139
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50726) - you deserved it (2768)

On 04/25/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by nodullmoment (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML

#20634352
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48899) - you deserved it (7797)

On 05/01/2013 at 4:21am - love - by brigie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

#20635835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51228) - you deserved it (2450)

On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43268) - you deserved it (4116)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20640490
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41712) - you deserved it (15464)

On 05/04/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by Tickettoride (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20258) - you deserved it (46010)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

#20624598
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52566) - you deserved it (3314)

On 04/27/2013 at 4:28am - misc - by whathehell (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

#20636386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37055) - you deserved it (16983)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

#20639773
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49925) - you deserved it (4513)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a note to skip P.E. that my grandpa had written because my mom was busy. His handwriting is terrible, so they didn't believe that he'd written it. I'd twisted my ankle and I got to run another mile for "lying". FML

#20615089
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47112) - you deserved it (3887)

On 04/23/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States



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