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Sunday 28 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

#20638691
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25770) - you deserved it (68027)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41374) - you deserved it (16036)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39781) - you deserved it (8468)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (41730)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

#20625307
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53987) - you deserved it (3567)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75138) - you deserved it (9092)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML

#20628506
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22169) - you deserved it (34880)

On 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm - work - by AbhorrentApplication (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

#20622946
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45539) - you deserved it (7141)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

#20636525
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27868) - you deserved it (50118)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, six weeks before my wedding, my mother decided to claim that she never agreed on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she planned in the first place. FML

#20626669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48725) - you deserved it (3932)

On 04/28/2013 at 12:29am - money - by need_cash_now (man) - United States

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56841) - you deserved it (12738)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML

#20621829
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44333) - you deserved it (3601)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML

#20641584
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49676) - you deserved it (3030)

On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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