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Sunday 28 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50251) - you deserved it (3894)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

#20627067
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59795) - you deserved it (3154)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43645) - you deserved it (24303)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

#20641408
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45794) - you deserved it (7589)

On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38877) - you deserved it (2466)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

#20624972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49159) - you deserved it (3753)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML

#20639297
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47839) - you deserved it (4626)

On 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50889) - you deserved it (9921)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

#20627981
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31425) - you deserved it (65725)

On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia

Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

#20617598
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49593) - you deserved it (20261)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

#20638777
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62115) - you deserved it (7546)

On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40368) - you deserved it (15667)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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