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Sunday 28 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML

#20621115
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43892) - you deserved it (4923)

On 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

#20641408
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49687) - you deserved it (8530)

On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

#20622674
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72854) - you deserved it (10006)

On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

#20615694
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69186) - you deserved it (9139)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Soundofaboner - United States

Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML

#20623167
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46130) - you deserved it (2769)

On 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

#20615252
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65234) - you deserved it (4201)

On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States

Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML

#20628307
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44652) - you deserved it (13547)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

#20629579
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23931) - you deserved it (57235)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States

Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML

#20615900
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27740) - you deserved it (39568)

On 04/23/2013 at 2:25pm - work - by hatemyjob (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38467) - you deserved it (23519)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

#20630309
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56462) - you deserved it (5225)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53040) - you deserved it (4116)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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