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Sunday 28 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML

#20612786
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50422) - you deserved it (3645)

On 04/22/2013 at 9:22am - work - by work -_- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

#20643291
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56143) - you deserved it (5846)

On 05/05/2013 at 3:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

#20643700
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48413) - you deserved it (7971)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41190) - you deserved it (5413)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45458) - you deserved it (3405)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

#20631829
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35845) - you deserved it (7519)

On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (53244)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was so nervous about a first date that trying to break a silence in the beginning, I asked, "So, you afraid of any insects?" No wonder I didn't get a second date. FML

#20632372
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38031) - you deserved it (11351)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:28am - love - by Gioia (woman) - Bulgaria (Vidin)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57426) - you deserved it (7979)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

#20622653
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44727) - you deserved it (9401)

On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

#20633909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45362) - you deserved it (3666)

On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

#20636797
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48988) - you deserved it (14333)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

#20612321
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44386) - you deserved it (6985)

On 04/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by 'creep' - United States (Colorado)



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