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Saturday 27 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22992) - you deserved it (41704)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

#20625307
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53957) - you deserved it (3565)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75086) - you deserved it (9087)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML

#20628506
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22148) - you deserved it (34855)

On 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm - work - by AbhorrentApplication (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

#20636525
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27845) - you deserved it (50068)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

#20622946
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45516) - you deserved it (7140)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, six weeks before my wedding, my mother decided to claim that she never agreed on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she planned in the first place. FML

#20626669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48691) - you deserved it (3931)

On 04/28/2013 at 12:29am - money - by need_cash_now (man) - United States

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56798) - you deserved it (12731)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML

#20621829
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44298) - you deserved it (3598)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML

#20641584
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49651) - you deserved it (3026)

On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

#20634162
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42212) - you deserved it (10881)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (2691)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML

#20615528
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43586) - you deserved it (5870)

On 04/23/2013 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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