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Thursday 25 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

#20617598
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51204) - you deserved it (20942)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

#20627981
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33508) - you deserved it (69196)

On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41255) - you deserved it (16001)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39671) - you deserved it (8455)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

#20632758
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45749) - you deserved it (2953)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22940) - you deserved it (41623)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

#20625307
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53853) - you deserved it (3560)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML

#20628506
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22112) - you deserved it (34797)

On 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm - work - by AbhorrentApplication (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

#20622946
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45433) - you deserved it (7131)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, six weeks before my wedding, my mother decided to claim that she never agreed on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she planned in the first place. FML

#20626669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48590) - you deserved it (3922)

On 04/28/2013 at 12:29am - money - by need_cash_now (man) - United States

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56690) - you deserved it (12712)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML

#20621829
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44184) - you deserved it (3594)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)



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