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Thursday 25 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

#20622674
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68448) - you deserved it (9324)

On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML

#20628307
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40223) - you deserved it (11293)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

#20629579
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23148) - you deserved it (55639)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

#20615252
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62535) - you deserved it (3990)

On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37585) - you deserved it (22963)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

#20630309
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54452) - you deserved it (5012)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50242) - you deserved it (3892)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

#20627067
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59790) - you deserved it (3153)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43643) - you deserved it (24300)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

#20627240
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49208) - you deserved it (10901)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38863) - you deserved it (2465)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

#20624972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49006) - you deserved it (3739)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

#20627981
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31418) - you deserved it (65720)

On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia



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