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Sunday 21 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML

#20603007
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51447) - you deserved it (5956)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

#20597351
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46838) - you deserved it (7383)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML

#20611067
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43432) - you deserved it (3436)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by wallet? GONE (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

#20616571
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55239) - you deserved it (7874)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he says I need to learn how to be happy without relying on him. I'm not a clinger, I'm just unhappy because my dad recently passed away, my best friend turned on me, and I lost out on the exchange program of my dreams. FML

#20625067
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55203) - you deserved it (3629)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50336) - you deserved it (6723)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML

Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML

#20602988
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42522) - you deserved it (12704)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Aberrombie Blue - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

#20616232
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36788) - you deserved it (5035)

On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

#20592968
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58062) - you deserved it (10492)

On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

#20604154
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47995) - you deserved it (9411)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

#20618791
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59395) - you deserved it (4426)

On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

#20628024
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43753) - you deserved it (3170)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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