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Sunday 21 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML

#20615528
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44879) - you deserved it (6017)

On 04/23/2013 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57087) - you deserved it (12804)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML

#20621829
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46205) - you deserved it (3739)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52053) - you deserved it (4887)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML

#20606960
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51914) - you deserved it (7334)

On 04/20/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by MaggotMother (woman) - United States

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41579) - you deserved it (16080)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

#20625307
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54248) - you deserved it (3586)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

#20595162
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58550) - you deserved it (5501)

On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42310) - you deserved it (2897)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

#20592767
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53488) - you deserved it (10269)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:04am - intimacy - by twinArmageddon2 - United States (California)

Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML

#20620985
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46926) - you deserved it (2719)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69200) - you deserved it (13341)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML

#20625530
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52522) - you deserved it (3340)

On 04/27/2013 at 4:23pm - health - by stuckwithafamilyofcunts (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)



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