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Sunday 21 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39376) - you deserved it (8253)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40138) - you deserved it (5614)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42398) - you deserved it (3713)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML

#20592891
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49120) - you deserved it (3659)

On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

#20600031
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37749) - you deserved it (3899)

On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

#20609406
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22625) - you deserved it (42177)

On 04/21/2013 at 2:20am - misc - by Human fly - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

#20601828
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42105) - you deserved it (6749)

On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43330) - you deserved it (4056)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

#20604222
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48225) - you deserved it (21230)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Wallz99 (man) - Pakistan (Azad Kashmir)

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML

#20602951
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40271) - you deserved it (6635)

On 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm - love - by RaveCharlie - United States

Today, I walked out of a job interview feeling confident because I'd really hit it off with the interviewer. He called me an hour later to tell me that I didn't get the job, since he was afraid we'd "get along too well and never get any work done." FML

#20613954
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51043) - you deserved it (3324)

On 04/22/2013 at 7:37pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

#20618055
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40693) - you deserved it (4440)

On 04/24/2013 at 10:10am - work - by demispark - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

#20619233
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29142) - you deserved it (13663)

On 04/24/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by public pooper - United States



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