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Sunday 21 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML

Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML

#20599168
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39992) - you deserved it (20875)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my crew was called out to do some house maintenance. We were nearly done, when someone had the goddamned fucking brilliant idea of washing plaster off their hands in the kitchen sink, which clogged the pipes. Instead of getting paid, we now owe for damages. FML

#20607182
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44174) - you deserved it (5322)

On 04/20/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (53248)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

#20622653
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44730) - you deserved it (9402)

On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)

Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43403) - you deserved it (3869)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

#20620041
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46926) - you deserved it (4310)

On 04/25/2013 at 12:54am - kids - by kkt - United States (Texas)

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56370) - you deserved it (2998)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42084) - you deserved it (8656)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43334) - you deserved it (5917)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML

#20599149
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42226) - you deserved it (7782)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45893) - you deserved it (4270)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

#20614650
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34214) - you deserved it (19051)

On 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by KyngJulian - United States



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