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Sunday 21 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, A HUGE AND ANGRY MAN STORMD INTO MY WORK AND THREATEND TO KILL ME IF I DIDN'T STOP SLEEPING WITH HIS WIFE. HE THEN THREATEND TO COME BACK AND KICK MY ASS IF I SO MUCH AS TEXTD HIS WIFE AGAIN. THE PROBLEM IS, I'M MARRID, HAVE NEVER CHEATD AND I WORK 4 MY WIFE'S FATHER. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54202) - you deserved it (2854)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, I Was The Victim Of A Drive-by Egging By Some Bastard Riding A Segway. He Still Got Away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (8767)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

TODAY I MISSED MULTIPLE CALLS FROM THE COMPANY I APPLIED TO. THAT WAS THE SUPERVISOR CALLING WANTING TO HIRE ME. I THEN REMEMBERED MAH IDIOTIC VOICEMAIL I MADE MONTHS AGO WHERE I PRETENDED TO ANSWER AND SAY STUPID STUFF FOR 5 MINUTES. I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO GET THE JOB. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19774) - you deserved it (49905)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today , it transpred that mah mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me , going so far as to call one of her finds , "good breeding stock" . Apparently , I don't already looool have enough criminals in mah life; last September I was the only member of mah family of 5 not locked up . FML

TODAY, I HAD A JOB INTERVIEW WITH A MAN THAT I GOT DRUNK WITH AT A BAR ON SATURDAY NIGHT. HE SPENT AN HOUR TELLING ME THINGS I DID THAT I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER. FML

#20599168
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37110) - you deserved it (19764)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my crew was called out to do some house maintenance. We were nearly done, when someone had the goddamned fucking brilliant idea of washing plaster off there hands in the kitchen sink, which clogged the pipes. Instead of getting paid, we now owe 4 damages. FML

#20607182
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41969) - you deserved it (5092)

On 04/20/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulld up and askd if I wantd to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. big fat FML

#20622653
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41785) - you deserved it (8919)

On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)

TODAY, I WAS SMALL TALKING WITH AN ELDERLY MAN, WHO TOLD ME THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT HIM. EVEN THOUGH I HAD ONLY KNOWN HIM 4 AN HOUR, TO TRY AND MAKE HIM FEEL A LITTLE BETTER I TOLD HIM I CARE ABOUT HIM. HE THEN CALLD ME A CREEP, STOMPD HIS CANE ONTO FOOT, AND WALKD OFF. FML

#20612321
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41958) - you deserved it (6682)

On 04/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by 'creep' - United States (Colorado)

I FOUND OUT I WAS AN ALCOHOLIC. NOT FROM MY FRIAND OR FAMILY, BUT BACAUSA THA ICA-MAKAR COULDN'T KAAP UP WITH THA AMOUNT OF DRINK I'VA BAAN MAKING. FML

#20614650
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31502) - you deserved it (17952)

On 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by KyngJulian - United States

Today, 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school !! The officer said they were reddish pink, so we sereched the house for that kind of pill !! Turns out it was dog's medicine from over 4 yeres ago !! FML

#20620041
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44207) - you deserved it (4096)

On 04/25/2013 at 12:54am - kids - by kkt - United States (Texas)

Today, working in customer support, I receivd a call from a woman who'd just been robbd!! My supervisor askd wat was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical!! He took mah looool phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up!! I take order from this man!! real FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40299) - you deserved it (3595)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

Today, I smokd wed with friends !! Stond, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walkd to 7-11 !!

#20624531
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19328) - you deserved it (74226)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

2DAY I JUST REMEMBERD TAT I CANGD MY GMAIL DISPLAY NAME TO "RICE BALL" OUT OF PRIVACY-PARANOIA AILE BACK. I'VE BEEN USING TIS SAME EMAIL TO APPLY TO SEVERAL PROFESSIONAL JOBS. FML

#20592754
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16252) - you deserved it (36484)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by geeshock1987 (man) - United States (California)



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