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Friday 19 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

#20602636
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (44904)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Bulgaria (Sofiya)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35426) - you deserved it (7854)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML

#20599168
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35852) - you deserved it (19279)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my crew was called out to do some house maintenance. We were nearly done, when someone had the goddamned fucking brilliant idea of washing plaster off their hands in the kitchen sink, which clogged the pipes. Instead of getting paid, we now owe for damages. FML

#20607182
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36542) - you deserved it (4312)

On 04/20/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33520) - you deserved it (4588)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

#20608351
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44660) - you deserved it (3745)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

#20622653
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38154) - you deserved it (8282)

On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

#20620041
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41025) - you deserved it (3855)

On 04/25/2013 at 12:54am - kids - by kkt - United States (Texas)

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

#20612321
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39976) - you deserved it (6432)

On 04/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by 'creep' - United States (Colorado)

Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38422) - you deserved it (3427)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

#20614650
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (17352)

On 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by KyngJulian - United States

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50562) - you deserved it (2586)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States



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