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Friday 19 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55466) - you deserved it (4723)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

#20593450
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43602) - you deserved it (4322)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

#20608416
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54763) - you deserved it (7021)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:40pm - love - by Thanks Babe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML

#20623794
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41678) - you deserved it (8174)

On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46816) - you deserved it (9318)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML

#20608123
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41552) - you deserved it (3426)

On 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm - misc - by unlucky - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML

#20610052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43769) - you deserved it (5122)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm - money - by a little less poor at least (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML

#20612786
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46830) - you deserved it (3368)

On 04/22/2013 at 9:22am - work - by work -_- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I had a note to skip P.E. that my grandpa had written because my mom was busy. His handwriting is terrible, so they didn't believe that he'd written it. I'd twisted my ankle and I got to run another mile for "lying". FML

#20615089
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46084) - you deserved it (3787)

On 04/23/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46302) - you deserved it (2894)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML

#20602567
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52583) - you deserved it (3492)

On 04/18/2013 at 4:34pm - misc - by bhnja_ (man) - Philippines (Mandaue)

Today, I was told that I don't meet the minimum requirements for a job I applied for. I currently hold the same job, at the same facility, but just wanted a day shift. Apparently I'm not qualified for the job I've had for 2 and a half years. FML

#20611147
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47926) - you deserved it (3372)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML

#20612336
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49047) - you deserved it (5783)

On 04/22/2013 at 1:06am - love - by And you think I'M crazy? (woman) - United States



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