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Friday 5 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

#20585229
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61206) - you deserved it (17006)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43212) - you deserved it (20990)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML

Today, my mom started fundraising and selling things on ebay. At first I was happy because I thought she was finally going to help me pay my college tuition. Turns out she's planning on raising money to get our dog a new friend because she's "lonely". FML

#20583166
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36982) - you deserved it (5072)

On 04/10/2013 at 2:54am - money - by Witos (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22143) - you deserved it (78011)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56935) - you deserved it (12971)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

#20574528
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43855) - you deserved it (4733)

On 04/04/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39897) - you deserved it (3704)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML

Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML

#20582580
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35329) - you deserved it (3985)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm - work - by Annoyed Student - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

#20579784
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21884) - you deserved it (40508)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50721) - you deserved it (5926)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68319) - you deserved it (3315)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada



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