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Friday 5 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's 17th birthday, and the first birthday since mother did, leaving me to live with previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63885) - you deserved it (3056)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today , mah halitosi was so bad that when I blew onto mah solution in chemistry class , it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30434) - you deserved it (9764) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, mah English teacher used the word "interpretate" again . This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them . It's over a page long . I'm meant to be learning things from this woman . FML

#20582580
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33202) - you deserved it (3781)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm - work - by Annoyed Student - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

TODAY , I WOKE UP TO MAH HUSBAND TAKING A PISS ON OUR BEDROOM FLOOR . I SCREAMED THAT HE WASN'T IN THE BATHROOM , TOHICH HE RESPONDED , "SHUT UP! I'M TAKING A PISS , LET ME FINISH!" HE HAS NO RECOLLECTION OF THE EVENT . NOW I HAVE TO CLEAN UP HIS PISS AND REWASH MAH CLOTHES . FML

MY BEST FRIEND WAS THROWING ME MAH BACHELORETTE PARTLY . A COP CUMMED BY AND SAID THERE HAVE BEEN COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE NOISE . THINKING HE WAS THE STRIPPER WE ORDERED, WE PULLED HIM INTO THE HOUSE . HE WAS AN ACTUAL COP . MEGA FML

#20577218
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39890) - you deserved it (19487)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I calld my dad crying an read thehole thing... even the bottom,hich said, "April fools! Love mom an dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59340) - you deserved it (5981)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46831) - you deserved it (5552)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Taday ma twelve year-old son tougt it would be a good idea to relentlessly soot te mail truck wit a paintball gun in front of all te neigbors. fat FML

Today , I Took Mah Grlfriend To Eat Out At A Restaurant!! We Chatted Fir An Hour , And It All Seemed To Be Going Well , Until She Told Me That She Wanted To Break Up!! Waiting Fir The Bill And Driving Her Home Was The Most Painful Time Of Mah Life!! Fat FML

#20577445
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41940) - you deserved it (3324)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today.. . my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher an her legacy . Within 10 minutes.. . the entire class was yelling.. . screaming.. . throwing stuff at each other . I got hit in the face with a binder . FML

#20584117
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37529) - you deserved it (3526)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

today mah boss threatened to fre me for killing him in Minecraft. real FML

#20571304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35227) - you deserved it (7622)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the power was out. I trid to explain to mah boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch looool any TV until the power cummd back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38303) - you deserved it (5886)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today , whila going down on mah girlfriand , I finally managad to giva har an orgasm. During that orgasm , sha tora out a clump of mah hair , causing ma to scraam in pain. Sha scowlad and said , "Ah shut it , ya littla bitch." FML

#20577693
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54015) - you deserved it (12376)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom



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