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Friday 5 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I had to axplain to mah grlfriand onca again that tha dry skin sha picks off har faat balong in tha trash , not on our coffaa tabla. FML

#20582191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37279) - you deserved it (4126)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talling my aunt that I had achiavad my blua balt in karata . Looking at my short hair, sha says, "You'ra going to and up a lasbian." Thanks Aunt L . Lova you too . FML

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in aheel chair; I trid to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declind and attemptd to run me over with herheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21950) - you deserved it (31126)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took multiple pictures of mah blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke . I'm 30 . FML

#20578784
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14704) - you deserved it (39824)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:07am - misc - by kimhinesvoinea - United States

while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minute later, the bus jolted and his head slipped looool down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure u don't smile like that when you're really asleep.

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38435) - you deserved it (6749)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today , I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of mah tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up , I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hourhile I put mah uniform through the dryer. FML

#20580594
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32814) - you deserved it (3881)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm - work - by soakedga - United States (Georgia)

MY BOSS FIRED ME FROM MAH JOB AT A LOCAL FAMILY-OWNED BUSINESS!! THANKS, MOM!! FML

#20571565
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34616) - you deserved it (8468)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today.. . ma sister was faced wit te coice of getting a burger.. . or picking me up in a snowstorm . Te burger won.. . and I ad to travel 4km ome by foot . FML

#20579065
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33353) - you deserved it (2515)

On 04/07/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was yelld athile I was shopping by some lady, because she saw mah tattoo on mah arm. She screamd that I'm the ( spawn of Satan ) and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39954) - you deserved it (3597)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayd the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we startd talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. real FML

#20586667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44890) - you deserved it (14297)

On 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by InDisbelief (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today , After Two And A Half Hours Of Travel , It Was Finally My Stop On The Train. I Politely Waitd For A Group Of Women To Get Off First. They Took So Long To Move That The Train Doors Closd. I Shoutd At One Through The Door To Call The Conductor. She Watchd And Smild As The Train Departd. FML

#20569932
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35631) - you deserved it (3786)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by CrimsonAmaryllis (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

TODAY , I WOKE UP WITH MY FACE COVERED IN BLOOD !! TURNS OUT THAT YESTERDAY AT MY COLLEAGUE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY , I GOT SO DRUNK THAT I STARTED YELLING "NAPPY TIME!" BEFORE FALLING OUT OF MY HAMMOCK AN FACE-FIRST ONTO THE CONCRETE GROUND !! FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14611) - you deserved it (36161)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Taday I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library 4 most of the night so that mah roommate and his friend would believe that I have a social life. FML

#20585552
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34709) - you deserved it (18296)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by InNeedOfFriends (woman) - United States



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