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Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in aheel chair; I trid to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declind and attemptd to run me over with herheel chair. FML
while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minute later, the bus jolted and his head slipped looool down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure u don't smile like that when you're really asleep.
Today , I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of mah tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up , I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hourhile I put mah uniform through the dryer. FML
Today, I was yelld athile I was shopping by some lady, because she saw mah tattoo on mah arm. She screamd that I'm the ( spawn of Satan ) and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML
Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayd the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we startd talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. real FML
Today , After Two And A Half Hours Of Travel , It Was Finally My Stop On The Train. I Politely Waitd For A Group Of Women To Get Off First. They Took So Long To Move That The Train Doors Closd. I Shoutd At One Through The Door To Call The Conductor. She Watchd And Smild As The Train Departd. FML
TODAY , I WOKE UP WITH MY FACE COVERED IN BLOOD !! TURNS OUT THAT YESTERDAY AT MY COLLEAGUE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY , I GOT SO DRUNK THAT I STARTED YELLING "NAPPY TIME!" BEFORE FALLING OUT OF MY HAMMOCK AN FACE-FIRST ONTO THE CONCRETE GROUND !! FML
Friday 27 March 2015