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Saturday 30 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39638) - you deserved it (2991)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35795) - you deserved it (3487)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

#20577745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42967) - you deserved it (3973)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47208) - you deserved it (3300)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36339) - you deserved it (6313)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML

#20559802
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30690) - you deserved it (2312)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39206) - you deserved it (7128)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

#20577290
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57350) - you deserved it (5189)

On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

#20569989
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37622) - you deserved it (3854)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

#20576074
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37220) - you deserved it (2633)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML

#20576526
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41134) - you deserved it (3388)

On 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39442) - you deserved it (2574)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)



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