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Saturday 30 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

#20577445
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40087) - you deserved it (3176)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38422) - you deserved it (6672)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39235) - you deserved it (22637)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40655) - you deserved it (3695)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

#20566421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (3009)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the McDonald's in my town ran out of fries. I was the one who had to tell all the angry customers we had no more fries in the store. FML

#20571214
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33981) - you deserved it (3536)

On 04/02/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

#20562925
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9163) - you deserved it (66618)

On 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm - misc - by Hahamaster333 -

Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML

Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML

#20571483
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (3887)

On 04/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36414) - you deserved it (3169)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46078) - you deserved it (3214)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32149) - you deserved it (5220)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I'm failing school. Why am I failing? Because I work 60 hours a week. Why do I work 60 hours a week? To pay for school. FML

#20563641
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43824) - you deserved it (4594)

On 03/28/2013 at 10:26am - work - by school issues - United States



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