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Saturday 30 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML

#20578323
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51216) - you deserved it (9657)

On 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by ziggers10 - United States

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43019) - you deserved it (2839)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86696) - you deserved it (8949)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38069) - you deserved it (6748)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

#20563782
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (58529)

On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22461) - you deserved it (53926)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (70151)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55171) - you deserved it (6041)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69889) - you deserved it (17656)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML

#20573279
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43102) - you deserved it (6442)

On 04/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by poop (man) -

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63103) - you deserved it (6294)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

#20573161
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36119) - you deserved it (15118)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by nottoosmall - United States

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

#20563466
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71481) - you deserved it (9650)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)



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