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Friday 29 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

#20572944
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (5946)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to give a 15-minute presentation for a conference. I hadn't had the time to write out a proper speech so I decided to just wing it. My sponsor liked my presentation so much he wants me to turn it into an article. Now if only I could remember what I said. FML

#20575166
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34104) - you deserved it (11036)

On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45133) - you deserved it (7793)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I spent the whole night and day painting a portrait of my girlfriend. Being proud of it, I sent it to her hoping she would appreciate it. I spent hours working on that picture only for her to reply with, "That's not me, is it?" FML

#20565101
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31791) - you deserved it (4016)

On 03/29/2013 at 7:12am - love - by artist (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I went for my daily post-op doctor's appointment, where I was told I can resume normal activities. Which was handy when I came home to half-an-inch of water throughout my apartment, due to my washing machine drainage pipe coming undone while I was gone. FML

#20562286
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25426) - you deserved it (2264)

On 03/27/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by Soggy Sophia - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my washing machine broke down, within its warranty. I asked my neighbour if she could open the door for the mechanic while I was at work; she agreed. When I came home, I had a bill for 80 bucks for not opening the door. Her reason? She was busy watching her favorite TV show. FML

#20573502
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32007) - you deserved it (4589)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Jack -

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

#20575849
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28365) - you deserved it (3316)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:04am - misc - by Gem - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML

#20574002
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32306) - you deserved it (2365)

On 04/03/2013 at 10:51pm - misc - by JaneDoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML

#20559804
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41543) - you deserved it (2470)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Soph (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15733) - you deserved it (31325)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

#20576079
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35318) - you deserved it (9101)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm - money - by Z'ev - United States (New York)

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

#20560819
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31042) - you deserved it (3541)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34037) - you deserved it (9892)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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