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Thursday 28 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

#20560819
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31040) - you deserved it (3541)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34031) - you deserved it (9892)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

#20573157
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36067) - you deserved it (3029)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)

Today, I showed my aunt and mother my tattoo. They both burst out laughing. FML

#20562807
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13105) - you deserved it (31098)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by anon - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, at work while near a cigarette tray outside, a man said, "Thanks for polluting our environment!" All I could say was, "What?" He then said "I'm speaking English you know!" I was cleaning the cigarette tray at the time, don't smoke at all, and was born here. FML

#20564434
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31531) - you deserved it (2352)

On 03/28/2013 at 8:57pm - work - by TVKill3r (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

#20559286
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36629) - you deserved it (2912)

On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34755) - you deserved it (2422)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeling down following a recent breakup. My dad tried to comfort me by patting me on the back and saying everyone goes through ups and downs, "Like when I found out your mum and I were having a boy." I'm their only son. FML

#20565847
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31591) - you deserved it (2396)

On 03/29/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by Appelflap (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML

Today, I boarded my first airplane flight. The girl on my right is sick, and the guy on my left says he gets extremely nauseous on flights. My earphones can't block out the panting and retching on either side of me. FML

Today, I learned that my parents are planning to divorce. My dad said, "I'll take Rachel." Rachel isn't even his daughter; I am. Rachel is my mom's daughter with her first husband. FML

#20567711
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36560) - you deserved it (2395)

On 03/31/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, for my birthday, the only "gift" my parents gave me was the gift of choice: I got to choose which one of them I'll be living with after their upcoming divorce. This was the first time I'd heard anything about a divorce. FML

#20569388
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34612) - you deserved it (1972)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:03am - misc - by HappyBirthdayISuppose (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

#20563612
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33247) - you deserved it (2435)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:52am - health - by paulinapo - United States (New York)



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