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Thursday 28 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML

#20565033
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35705) - you deserved it (2351)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:33am - misc - by TheRuleEnforcer (man) - United States

Today, I was cast as beast in my high school's production of Beauty and the Beast. My Grandma's input? "At least they won't need any makeup." FML

#20566521
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31699) - you deserved it (3305)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Beast - United States (Ohio)

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

#20559787
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34141) - you deserved it (6046)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML

#20566826
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35619) - you deserved it (3521)

On 03/30/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by My Life Is Just PERFECT - United States

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

#20572944
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you deserved it (5741)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to give a 15-minute presentation for a conference. I hadn't had the time to write out a proper speech so I decided to just wing it. My sponsor liked my presentation so much he wants me to turn it into an article. Now if only I could remember what I said. FML

#20575166
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32690) - you deserved it (10593)

On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38483) - you deserved it (5640)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

#20569899
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (6866)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I spent the whole night and day painting a portrait of my girlfriend. Being proud of it, I sent it to her hoping she would appreciate it. I spent hours working on that picture only for her to reply with, "That's not me, is it?" FML

#20565101
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (3716)

On 03/29/2013 at 7:12am - love - by artist (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my washing machine broke down, within its warranty. I asked my neighbour if she could open the door for the mechanic while I was at work; she agreed. When I came home, I had a bill for 80 bucks for not opening the door. Her reason? She was busy watching her favorite TV show. FML

#20573502
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30967) - you deserved it (4477)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Jack -

Today, I went for my daily post-op doctor's appointment, where I was told I can resume normal activities. Which was handy when I came home to half-an-inch of water throughout my apartment, due to my washing machine drainage pipe coming undone while I was gone. FML

#20562286
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24351) - you deserved it (2166)

On 03/27/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by Soggy Sophia - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

#20559286
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35043) - you deserved it (2775)

On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States

Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML

#20574002
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (2196)

On 04/03/2013 at 10:51pm - misc - by JaneDoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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