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Thursday 28 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32624) - you deserved it (10996)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

#20565452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40169) - you deserved it (4720)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34727) - you deserved it (3103)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

#20565796
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37446) - you deserved it (8401)

On 03/29/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by sarajj (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on a plane in the aisle seat; the guy in the middle was encroaching on my space, and the window seat was not taken. The stewardess noticed my discomfort and suggested the guy move so we both had space. He had bought both seats and "liked sitting in the middle." FML

#20574297
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33214) - you deserved it (1964)

On 04/04/2013 at 3:12am - misc - by Claustrophobic - United States

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33381) - you deserved it (4470)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33710) - you deserved it (15350)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18884) - you deserved it (42026)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States

Today, I went to the bank to find out why they've taken $200 from me. By the time I show them my bank card, ID and tell them my problem, they accuse me of stealing my own identity, and refuse to give me my money back. FML

#20561553
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32687) - you deserved it (2101)

On 03/26/2013 at 9:37pm - money - by arsenicalhumor (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML

#20564779
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42419) - you deserved it (19397)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing Draw Something with my girlfriend, when I decided to start a game with some other people. She immediately accused me of "cheating" on her, and still refuses to talk to me. FML

#20571699
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35545) - you deserved it (4552)

On 04/02/2013 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML

#20569253
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33563) - you deserved it (2898)

On 03/31/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by pissed_off_girl - United States (Virginia)



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