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Wednesday 27 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML

#20574002
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35900) - you deserved it (2662)

On 04/03/2013 at 10:51pm - misc - by JaneDoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned that my parents are planning to divorce. My dad said, "I'll take Rachel." Rachel isn't even his daughter; I am. Rachel is my mom's daughter with her first husband. FML

#20567711
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40338) - you deserved it (2695)

On 03/31/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

#20572944
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (6335)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I showed my aunt and mother my tattoo. They both burst out laughing. FML

#20562807
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15054) - you deserved it (33848)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by anon - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17517) - you deserved it (34225)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (10785)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

#20573157
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39650) - you deserved it (3315)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)

Today, I boarded my first airplane flight. The girl on my right is sick, and the guy on my left says he gets extremely nauseous on flights. My earphones can't block out the panting and retching on either side of me. FML

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38477) - you deserved it (2689)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

#20560819
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34426) - you deserved it (3837)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went for my daily post-op doctor's appointment, where I was told I can resume normal activities. Which was handy when I came home to half-an-inch of water throughout my apartment, due to my washing machine drainage pipe coming undone while I was gone. FML

#20562286
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28418) - you deserved it (2527)

On 03/27/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by Soggy Sophia - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, for my birthday, the only "gift" my parents gave me was the gift of choice: I got to choose which one of them I'll be living with after their upcoming divorce. This was the first time I'd heard anything about a divorce. FML

#20569388
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38278) - you deserved it (2232)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:03am - misc - by HappyBirthdayISuppose (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work while near a cigarette tray outside, a man said, "Thanks for polluting our environment!" All I could say was, "What?" He then said "I'm speaking English you know!" I was cleaning the cigarette tray at the time, don't smoke at all, and was born here. FML

#20564434
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (2635)

On 03/28/2013 at 8:57pm - work - by TVKill3r (man) - United States



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