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Wednesday 27 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good , then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by an he still hadn't come back. I called my friend an she said he doesn't smoke. FML

#20566826
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36967) - you deserved it (3654)

On 03/30/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by My Life Is Just PERFECT - United States

Taday I was on a bumpy bus ride an had to write a note so I held my notebook against the bus window to steady my hand. An elderly looool woman then yelled at me accusing me of drawing graffiti on the window. The bus driver kicked me off an I had to wait an hour in the rain fir the next bus. FML

#20561950
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (2612)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by 00sasori - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, mah creepy co-worker walkd up an said, "You know, I was having sex with this looool girl last night, an I almost said your name." fat FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44580) - you deserved it (3121)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me 4 not getting the driver's info. FML

#20565033
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38309) - you deserved it (2563)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:33am - misc - by TheRuleEnforcer (man) - United States

yesterday I was cast as beast in mah high school's production of Beauty and the Beast. My Grandma's input? "At least they won't ned any makeup." FML

#20566521
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34309) - you deserved it (3526)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Beast - United States (Ohio)

Today, At A Romantic Dinner Boyfriend Was Treating Me To, The Waiter Brought A "Will U Marry Me?" Cake Out With Candle And Sparklers. I Probably Should Have Checked That They'd Brought It To The Right Table Before Dramatically Screaming "Yes!" And Jumping Into Boyfriend's Arms. They Hadn't. FML

#20559787
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38759) - you deserved it (6688)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

yesterday I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

#20572944
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (5960)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was mah friand's birthday, so I bakd him a caka complata with his nama writtan on it in homamada frosting. Aftar I gava it to him, his mothar baratd ma for it, saying I should hava chackd with har first bafora making a caka for har son. Ha's 28. FML

#20574002
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32520) - you deserved it (2380)

On 04/03/2013 at 10:51pm - misc - by JaneDoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, Mah Boyfriend Tried To Whimsically Serenade Me By Throwing Rocks At Mah Apartment Window And Singing. He Got The Wrong Window. Another Guy Answered, And Now He Thinks I'm Cheating On Him. FML

#20559286
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36849) - you deserved it (2924)

On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States

Today , I was babysitting , an after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done , an it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying , an every time I go looool near them , they scream "LIAR!" FML

#20569899
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34236) - you deserved it (7495)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today , I finally ad te best sex I've ever ad wit tis really ot guy I've been anging out wit lately. I tougt everyting was all well an good until e turned to me an said , "You know , yur orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin , but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46423) - you deserved it (7946)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

today I spent te wole nigt and day painting a portrait of ma grlfriend!! Being proud of it, I sent it to er oping se would appreciate it!! I spent ours working on tat picture only fir er to reply wit, "Tat's not me, is it?" real FML

#20565101
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33460) - you deserved it (4174)

On 03/29/2013 at 7:12am - love - by artist (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, washing machine broke down, within its warranty. I asked neighbour if she could open the door for the mechanic while I was at work; she agreed. When I cummed home, I had a bill for 80 bucks for not opening the door. Her reason? She was busy watching her favorite TV show. FML

#20573502
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32235) - you deserved it (4604)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Jack -



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