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Wednesday 27 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my now ex-grlfriend posted on Facebook tat I called er a "fucking bitc" . Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded tat I treat er wit respect . Wat se failed to mention was tat I said it after finding out tat se's been sleeping wit my "best friend" 4 te past year . FML

#20564269
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47090) - you deserved it (3294)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, I got servd paperwork stating that mah ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 yeres ago, I provd via DNA testing within looool the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in mah future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39338) - you deserved it (2567)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today , my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it , it had a virus on it , and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38053) - you deserved it (6997)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer cuz I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 4 free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her 4 calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. mega FML

#20559802
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30602) - you deserved it (2306)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He think "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. mega FML

#20569989
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37540) - you deserved it (3852)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY, I WAS PLAYING DRAW SOMETHING WITH GRLFRIEND,HEN I DECIDD TO START A GAME WITH SOME OTHER PEOPLE. SHE IMMEDIATELY ACCUSD ME OF ( CHEATING ) ON HER, AN STILL REFUSES TO TALK TO ME. FML

#20571699
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35569) - you deserved it (4553)

On 04/02/2013 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

TODAY, I WAS FRESENING UP MA MAKEUP IN TE CAR BEFORE A DATE. AN OLD LADY WALKD BY AND SAID TROUG MA OPEN WINDOW, "DON'T BOTER. TERE'S NO ELPING YOU, ONEY." FAT FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38658) - you deserved it (4125)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred looool people already staring an laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32645) - you deserved it (11001)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while on the way to Florida fir spring break, I pointed out to mah mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mrror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. real FML

#20565452
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40156) - you deserved it (4721)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

TODAY, IN MAH JOB AS AN ASSISTANT AT A MUSIC VENUE, I HAD TO GET POSTERS SIGND BY THAT NIGHT'S PERFORMER . WHEN I WALKD INTO THE DRESSING ROOM, I WAS TOLD, "UNLESS YOU'RE SUCKING MAH COCK THEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" AND HAD THE POSTERS SLAPPD OUT OF MAH HANDS . IT'S MAH JOB TO DEAL WITH THESE PRICKS . FML

#20572312
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34749) - you deserved it (3103)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to mah boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun . I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up . He responded by sighing, ( That's really fucking annoying, babe . Cut it out, yeah? ) FML

#20565796
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37474) - you deserved it (8404)

On 03/29/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by sarajj (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, mah cat laarnd how to opan doors. Evar sinca than sha's baan running up to mah room, opaning mah door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (4472)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)



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