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Wednesday 27 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML

#20564779
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35717) - you deserved it (13689)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31286) - you deserved it (3127)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43416) - you deserved it (3026)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37652) - you deserved it (2438)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML

#20559802
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28331) - you deserved it (2137)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32866) - you deserved it (5172)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

#20565452
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38497) - you deserved it (4551)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

#20569989
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32815) - you deserved it (3461)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31461) - you deserved it (10582)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36804) - you deserved it (3952)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML

#20569420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31922) - you deserved it (2930)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by aabadaba (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38143) - you deserved it (4986)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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